Princess Of Ruin!

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http://serenindigo.blogspot.com/
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Just a thought...

Twitter - Just a justified way to speak to yourself without getting sectioned!

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...and it just crossed my mind...

The first thoughts of the day - So pure...

The last thought at night - So corrupt...

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Submission Collision!

My mind is due to explode!

I write. I have written ever since I can remember. I may not be of much use vocally, but words are my passion.

SO, WHY IS IT THAT WHENEVER I AM ASKED TO WRITE, MY MIND CRAMPS?

For the first time in my life, I have been praised for my efforts and invited to write for a magazine. I can write as freely as I please, and as often as I wish, and suddenly, I cannot write a sentence. I feel like a huge thumb is pressing my forehead, restricting my creativity. My body is ecstatic, my brain is in meltdown, and yet, I sit here, scraping all I can gather in a pathetic attempt to break this restraint.

Perhaps, this is not me.

Perhaps, the topic is too truthful. Can I really write as freely as I wish? That means I would have to face matters that I am not ready to face.

Writing is a lonely past-time, and nobody is holding my hand.

That's the answer - Nobody is holding my hand, but I hold then pen! The pen needs my support!

Can I do that?

My pen has been my best friend since day 1. I can do that.

What if what I write is irrelevant? What if it does not satisfy what is required? What if it is ANOTHER pathetic attempt?

FAIL!

COME ON GEM! YOU CAN DO THIS!

So, I put pen to paper. My mind still wanders, and words fly carelessly around, lost and bewildered, and I am closer to breaking point.

I never did cope well under pressure. I combust! I feel the bubbles rise and the steam amount, and writing is now the last thing on my mind...

I NEED A BREAK!

This is me.

This is who I really am. Uncensored, unrehearsed and uncontrolled.

This is me.

I have written since I was old enough to hold a pen. From as far back as I care remember, late at nights, I have occupied myself with song-writing and poetry. My earliest memories of writing are of squatting at my window sill at night, with the street-light as my desk-lamp, scribbling into the early hours as my parents and sister slept; writing my own versions of the songs I heard on the radio. I have a permanent dent in the middle finger of my right hand where the Parker has rubbed away the skin in those ‘moments of passion’

I am 26. I am everything to some, nothing to others. A parent, a fiancee, a writer, a guitarist, a photographer, a music lover… an artist in many ways.

I have a ten year old son who is diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome, Attention Deficit Disorder and Tourettes; who has opened my eyes to an un-accepting world, and inspired me beyond belief. He fills my heart with joy and gives me a reason to love my life. He IS me.

My Fiance is my ‘Happily ever after’, my hero, my ‘knight In Shining Armour’. Four wonderful years of completion.

My guitar is my closest friend.

My lack of confidence is my weakness; my arch-enemy! Temptations and willingness to please others; my biggest downfall.

My family - My strength.

My past - My drive.

I ♥

1.. I ♥ Summertime Road Trips - Windows down, Volume up, No worries...


2.. I ♥ Purple. It's calming and complimenting.


3.. I ♥ Zed's uncontrolled giggles.


4.. I ♥ The way MrT's hand giants mine.


5.. I ♥ Lucozde... God's Piss.


6.. I ♥ The smell of the air the day following Bon Fire night.


7.. I ♥ Swear-words... They make me chuckle!


8.. I ♥ The sound of crisp Autumn leaves crunching beneath my boots.


9.. I ♥ Noodles - Noodles solve EVERYTHING.